Give Grace, Especially to Yourself!

We spent the past week in the United States reflecting on what we are grateful for.  Now we move into the season of holiday rush.  Black Friday and Cyber Monday turn to Giving Tuesday, and we are aimed straight on to winter break!

It is easy to get caught up in the frenzy of consumerism, gift exchanges, holiday preparations, getting those last few weeks of lesson plans completed, and managing the kids so we can actually get some teaching done in the midst of everything.

All the excitement, mixed feelings about holidays, our personal lives, and showing up to the classroom every day can create a lot of stress.  Tempers can flare, power struggles ensue, and we may end up feeling defeated.

What if something else was possible?  What if we focused on giving grace?  Grace is defined by Webster’s Dictionary as “favor; good will; kindness; disposition to oblige another.” 

Give grace to your students.  Remember they are doing the best they can with the skills they currently have.  Where can you find a teachable moment to help them build their skills?

Give grace to your colleagues.  Give grace to the parents of your students.  Remember that most issues or conflicts that arise have nothing to do with you.  Where can you let something slide and know they really didn’t mean anything by it?

Give grace to your family.  Even though we manage to stay reasonably self-regulated all day at work, we sometimes let our control go when we get home.  Our loved ones may bear the brunt of our own unintentional challenging behaviors.  Where can you find a strength to compliment your family members on?

Most of all, give grace to yourself.  You, too, are doing the best you can in each moment.  If life happens and you do or say something you regret, apologize.  Make it right.  And then look for where you can be extra kind to yourself, rather than focus on the negative.

Be a bright light this holiday season.  Remember that your students are watching and learning from you, no matter what grade they are in.  We can all take a little extra time to connect with each person in our lives, remind them of their goodness, and say kind words.  Give a little extra grace, especially to those who you might not want to.

Those little actions, seemingly insignificant to you, may mean the world to someone else who is struggling right now.  You make a difference!

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Getting What You Want

The only way to really get what you want is to decide what it actually is that you want.  When you think about your goals, you must have something specific to aim for.  One way to gain more clarity about what you want is to create an “I Want” list.  Think about all the things you want to do–the experiences you wish to have.  Then brainstorm the items you want to have–usually the material things in life.  And then, give some thought to what you want to be–characteristics you’d like to develop, roles you’d like to have.  If you can come up with 100 I Wants on your list, you’ve got a lot more clarity.

Then you can decide what is most important.  Usually, several of the items on that list will jump out to you as most important or a top priority.  Sometimes they solve a particular pressing need you currently face, or they most directly align with your life purpose and mission.  You can begin to prioritize which I Wants to work toward.

Some pitfalls to avoid in your quest for deciding what you want:

1. Don’t live someone else’s dreams.  These should be things you truly want, and can get excited about, not what someone else wants for you.

2. Don’t settle for less than what you really want.  You might get stuck thinking about how you’re going to get something and then scale back your dream.  Make your choice and stand powerfully in it.

3. Don’t waste a lot of time worrying about how.  The point of deciding what you want is to allow your subconscious and the Universe to know what it is you want help with.  You don’t have to know how you’re going to be, do or have something in order to put it on your list.

4. Don’t let someone else talk you out of your wants.  Lots of people mean well and will try to tell you all the reasons why what you want isn’t going to happen.  They really believe they are helping you, so you don’t face discouragement or defeat.  Say, “thanks for caring enough to share that with me.” And then move on, continuing toward your dreams.

5. Don’t keep your wants to yourself.  On the other hand, the more people who know about your wants, the more likely there is someone out there who can help you get there.  So share your wants, with some common sense and a thick skin, of course.